Running Commentary, October 7, 2011

I’ll admit that my hopes were a little too high.  Three years in a row was simply asking too much, I guess.    All good things must come to an end. 

Looking back, I should have known better.  Coke…done.  Frito pie…done.  Margarita…done.  Grilled cheese…done.  Pizza…done.  Butter…done.  Beer…yes, even beer…done.  There simply wasn’t a lot left.

If you haven’t figured it out yet, I’m talking about the annual State Fair of Texas “Big Tex” Choice Awards for fried food.   Two years ago, it was Abel Gonzales’ deep fried butter taking the creativity crown – a delectable that inspired me to place Gonzales on an almost saintly pedestal. 

It’s hard to top fried butter, but just one year later Mark Zable did just that when he introduced deep fried beer at the fair.  I’ll admit that the concept was much better than the actual product (basically hot Guinness injected into ravioli), but hey, the guy did manage to fry beer without compromising its alcoholic integrity, so I’m willing to give him the benefit of the doubt.     

This year’s winner for creativity?  Deep-fried bubblegum.  Nothing against bubblegum mind you, it’s just not…well…butter or beer.  Do you eat it or just chew it and, if you swallow it, does it take seven years to digest or is that just an urban legend?  Frankly, I just don’t get it.

O.K., to be fair, I discovered that the treat is not actually bubblegum at all, but rather bubblegum-flavored marshmallows that are battered and deep fried before being covered with powdered sugar and icing.  That’s a little better, but hell, I could make dirt taste pretty good if you gave me enough powdered sugar and icing. 

I honestly don’t know what I was expecting this year.  I pinned my hopes on Gonzales who, in addition to the butter, introduced the world to fried Coke and fried PB&J sandwiches, but even he disappointed me this time with his fried pineapple upside down cake.  C’mon, Abel…this is the freakin’ State Fair of Texas, not a Chi O rush party!

Just when I was considering putting my coveted TX-OU tickets on Craigslist, I received a tip.  Somehow lost in the flurry of fried fodder was a new entry from long-time fair vendor Ruth’s Tamales, a mysterious dish called Deep Fried Southern Hospitality.    With such an intriguing name, I had to learn more and, boy, I’m certainly glad I did. 

Ruth’s creation combines seasoned pork, collard greens and cornbread all placed in a cone, deep-fried and then served on a stick.  Hey, you can’t spell hospital without hospitality and this recipe is an express ticket to Parkland.  It’s pure genius!  How this one got overlooked in the creativity category I’ll never know.

So if you are looking for me this weekend, I’ll be the guy celebrating the Horns’ win with a stick in one hand, a non-fried beer in the other and a write-in petition for Ruth somehow cradled in my arms.  Hook ‘em.